… in the shed copywriting …

A version of this article appeared the “Moneypenny” secretarial/PA e-newsletter.

Does the Temp Type?

You know me.  I appear in your office with little or no warning.  One day, I’m nowhere to be seen and then next – I’m just there, sitting in the corner, watching, listening.

I spend my day asking questions: “where’s the Ladies / coffee machine / accounts / photocopier / way out?” I sit there, typing, filing, for a week, two, perhaps longer.  Then I’m gone again, just as suddenly as I arrived.  So suddenly, in fact, you didn’t even get around to remembering my name.  But that’s okay – just call me “The Temp”.

Think about the last time a temp appeared in your office, with or without warning.  How was she (or he) received in the office?  Do you think you treated her (or him) well?  Were you and your colleagues friendly and helpful?  Do you think the temp thought so?  Honestly?

I have temped at various times, at various stages in my career and have worked in some wonderful offices, with some wonderful people who treated me as part of the team from Day One, 0900 hours.  I was sad to leave these places, even when I’d only been there a few days.

Then there were the other places.   And there have been some horrors.   Oh, of course, there’s the usual stuff: not being shown around the office, work not being explained properly, staff not speaking to you.  Temps get used to that.  It goes with the territory.

But it gets worse: staff members allocated to look after you being unavailable most of the time and totally unhelpful the rest; senior staff (managers and directors) talking to you in a way they would never speak to their permanent staff; ignored when requesting help and treated with the appalling discourtesy when asking a question.

There was one memorable assignment when, on my first (and last) day, the PA supposedly looking after me, had a stand up row with her boss, about me – whilst I was standing there.   Again, temps get used to being invisible and dealing with the ‘unprofessionalism’ of so-called professional offices.

Temps also know that the only stupid question is the one you don’t ask.  But they also know that if you do ask a question, you may be ignored or you’re looked upon so badly that you cannot bring yourself to ask a second time.  I know that feeling all too well.  I’ve been in that position once.  Or twice.

Yes, there are bad temps, just as there are bad employees but there is a feeling that temps are only doing what they’re doing because they cannot get a proper job.

Now, this may come as something of a shock to some of you, but there are temps out there (me included) who don’t want a ‘proper’ job.  Can you imagine such a thing?

The reasons for temping are many and various: between jobs; returning from a career break; updating skills; freelancing in industries where work is intermittent (theatre, TV, etc).  Or, like me, just love the flexibility and the variety of long-term temping, looking upon it as a career in itself and treating it just as seriously.

So next time you see a stranger struggling to unjam the photocopier, looking for “Gavin who does the payroll” or wandering around completely lost having finally found her own way to the loos (but not back to her desk), just smile, say hi and introduce yourself – but ignore her at your peril.  Remember, she could be freelance journalist – just waiting for a scoop on “the World Worst Office”.

… or, it could be me …

Christine – from the Shed.

Extracts from an “creatively reported” team building exercise – from a Corporate Newsletter

(With apologies to War Correspondents everywhere)

Breaking News ….. Celts and Saxons carry out daring raid on coast of Norway

Dateline: 21 April 2008

It’s over 1,000 years since the Vikings invaded the British Isles, causing widespread terror from Orkney to Land’s End.  And now, finally, the Norwegians have been given a taste – albeit a very small taste – of their own medicine.

I was lucky enough to be embedded with the troops as they executed their daring raids.   The combined regiments of the English, Irish, Scots and Welsh crew are a well-organised, rugged, hard-bitten group who coordinated their battle plans via email and using the secret code word “Teambuilding”.   Traditional hostilities between the nations were suspended for the duration of this pioneering mission.

Even their travel itinerary was calculated to confuse the Norwegians as many different UK airports were used to transport the men.  The teambuilders’ first landfall was the idyllic city of Bergen.   In a particularly daring move, they gathered under cover of daylight and disguised themselves as tourists.   Mingling successfully with the real visitors, these battle-hardened men sat and enjoyed the warm sunshine – unfortunately, slightly too close to the fish market ….. with the wind in the wrong direction.

After a minor skirmish with a Troll (something about payment for crossing a footbridge) it was time to rendezvous with others from our regiment who had made landfall later in the day from their easyjet troop carrier.

It was at about this time that we made a shocking discovery.  Norwegian troops were attempting to mingle with the Celts and Saxons.  Vengeance was swift and the Norwegians were quickly press-ganged into joining the teambuilding exercise.  At first, it seemed this could be a breach of the Geneva Convention.  But with the words “we won’t tell if you don’t”, a deal was struck and troop numbers, rugged good looks and the “refreshment” quota increased significantly.  To celebrate this unique collaboration, refreshments were taken together in a local Creole restaurant with a traditional Norwegian dish of BBQ spare ribs.

Then it was time to leave the sea behind and take to the air for the journey home.  As we mingled with yet more tourists at the airport, I checked once again that all my colleagues were accounted for.  For security reasons, I cannot tell you how many troops there were on this first wave of “teambuilding” but I can tell you that I counted them all out and I counted them all back.

Were the troops sorry to leave?  Undoubtedly, yes.  They came, they saw, they vodka’d.  And they’ll be back.

Goodnight …. and may your Norse God go with you.

Christine … in the Shed

Reviewing a book about reviewing isn’t easy. You find yourself continually checking what you’re writing and how you’re writing it. So let’s see if we can get through this ….

This is a little gem of a book. Published in 1996 (before the rise of the internet, mobile phones, the Labour Government) it is even more relevant today, considering the massive increase in reviewing websites and e-magazines.

“Writing Reviews” looks at all forms of reviewing : music, theatre, books, art, computer games, and even the village fete. It starts off by examining what reviewing actually is, how to gain experience and make contacts, organising your work and networking in your chosen field. For those pursuing writing as a career rather than a hobby, there is also help with putting together your CV, promoting yourself and working within the media.

As with all How to Books, “Writing Review” provides a good overview but is light on information. It does, however, give a full list of recommended books and magazines to help fill the gaps and take your reviewing/writing on to the next level. It also (obviously) sticks to the “How to” format which can irritate (the examples, for example). But Ms Baldock’s writing has overcome this. It’s a shame the book isn’t twice as long.

The book is very readable, interesting, choc full of ideas to get you on the right track for a career in reviewing. But make sure you work your way through the Further Reading section first.

Christine ….. in the Shed

Extract from an article on ghostwriting:

Who Ya Gonna Call?  A Beginner’s Guide to Ghosts

Extract of an article published on the Million Impossible website in August 2009:

THE POWER OF THE PRESS

The power of the press has long been understood by big businesses, celebrity footballers and ex-Big Brother Housemates.  But just how do they do it?  How do they manage to stay front page news, racking up column inches, day after day?  And how can the rest of us do the same?

Companies such as British Airways, Microsoft and Newcastle United can turn to their mighty PR machines, ever ready to leap into action and scatter press releases like confetti ensuring the best possible media coverage for the latest service, new product or star signing.

But you don’t have to move in such illustrious circles to take advantage of this power.  Nor do you have to rely on big PR agencies.

Contrary to popular belief, DIY PR is relatively easy and straightforward – after all, who knows your business better than you?  And what is the most cost-effective weapon in your publicity armoury?  The humble press release.

No-Fear Press Releases

Press releases can be written for anything and everything: new product, record profits, sponsorship deal – anything that influences your business, interests your customers (existing and potential) and your competitors.

Press releases follow a simple set format (one well known to journalists) termed the ‘pyramid’.  That is, writing a story so the news – the point – is at the top with the subsequent paragraphs going on to develop the story, one point per paragraph, in order of importance.  Editors trim stories to size by cutting from the bottom up and the pyramid approach means nothing important is lost in the process.

____________________________________

Christine ….. in the Shed

The recent BBC series “The Secret Life of the Airport” reminded me of a competition I entered a couple of years ago in the British Airways in-flight magazine.  The idea was to write a piece of 500 words on any aspect of travel.  I chose airports.

I usually fly around a dozen times each year and therefore spend quite a lot of time in airports.  This is not a hardship for me – I find these places fascinating – but would dearly love to bring back the glamour!

Here is an extract from my competition entry:

Departures from the Norm

Hello, my name is Christine and I like airports.

There, that’s that out of the way. It pays to be up front about these things. Otherwise it becomes the Jumbo in the room.

I know what you’re thinking but I just like airports.   Or maybe fascination is better word. These are some of the best places on Earth.

Now you are worried, so I should explain.

Having spent five years in a long distance relationship (now a short distance one) I got to know some UK airports (Glasgow, Newcastle, Gatwick, Heathrow) very well indeed and gradually discovered a whole new world: an amazing, exciting, depressing, sad, funny, constantly-changing-but-never-dull world, full of farewells and reunions.  Airports are choc-a-block with the everyday stories of travelling folk: going on holiday, returning from business meetings, heading off to weddings, funerals, christenings, anywhere on the globe.  And it’s like this 365 days a year! Stories repeating endlessly but, like snowflakes, never identical

Many people – most people – treat airports as a means to get to their chosen destination.   Arrive, park the car, get to the Terminal, queue to check in the bags, queue again for Security, get dressed again afterwards, buy a newspaper, get a coffee, and find Boarding Gate. Then get on the plane.  So why not enjoy all the hurry-up-and-wait and treat it as something to be enjoyed not endured?

My tactic is to arrive early (not days early – I’m not weird or anything), check in bags, get a coffee and a paper. But my paper goes unread as I watch my fellow passengers, wondering where they’re going, why, and (where possible) eavesdropping on conversations.

And look at the destinations.  From London Heathrow I can fly to Reykjavik, Rome or Riyadh – anywhere (not just places beginning with ‘R’). Why are all these people going to all these fascinating cities? What’s happening in their lives? Me?  I’m going to see my mum in Newcastle.  And you? Oh, you’re joining the British Antarctic Survey Team at the South Pole? Yes, goodness, you do have a lot of luggage…

Only one thing is missing from my (unrequited) airport love affair: the glamour. Despite the reality, I don’t see the queues, the tired and fractious children, the bored businessmen … I see Joan Collins, immaculate in dark glasses and matching luggage, arriving on a BOAC jet from LAX. ‘Tis better to travel glamorously than to arrive.

Sadly, first class air travel is beyond me (for the moment) and currently my matching luggage consists of several Tesco bags but if I can buy a little piece of the allure such as an overnight bag in a tasteful hue, I’ll be happy. We all need a little bit of glamour in our lives, even if it is only at Fast Bag Drop…..

So next time you go through an airport, treat it as an adventure, take your time and enjoy the experience. And if you see someone in tasteful designer shades struggling with an elegant set of suitcases, it could be me.  Or Joan.

Christine  ….. from the Shed

Extract from “Going the Extra Yard” –

Published in OS (Office Secretary) magazine, Apr/May 09 issue

PA Profile: Nicky McGrath, Senior Racing Secretary, Mark Johnston Racing Ltd

7am on a Monday morning. Whilst most of us are still asleep, Nicky McGrath is already at her desk. As Senior Racing Secretary to trainer Mark Johnston, one of the top names in flat racing, Nicky is among the earliest of early risers.

“In the summer, we start at 6am but in winter, out of the main flat racing season, it’s 7am. The core hours are 6am – 1pm or 7am – 2pm.   We also work every other weekend meaning we work twelve consecutive days to get a weekend off. In this industry, long hours and early starts are the norm and … well, no-one goes into racing expecting to have their Saturdays free!”

Mark Johnston Racing Ltd is based in Middleham, North Yorkshire, a part of the country that has been home to racing for more than 200 years. The yard looks after around 230 horses (the exact number changes frequently with horses going to or coming from the sales) for some 80 owners and employs approximately 120 staff. The stables boast excellent training facilities including an equine swimming pool, an all-weather gallop and grass gallops up on the beautiful North Yorkshire moors.

It is one of the busiest and most high-profile yards in the country with a remarkable winning record both here and abroad. Nicky is the first point of contact in the organisation, for stable staff, jockeys, owners and the media, and faces quite a challenge.

Despite having no previous experience as a Racing Secretary, Nicky didn’t go into the job with her eyes closed. Married to a successful jump jockey (Richard McGrath) and with a strong background in the sport, she understands its pressures and demands. In fact, her family is steeped in racing history.  Her mother, Kate Walton, was a lady amateur jockey and is now a well-known trainer with a small, flourishing yard also in Middleham. Her grandfather, Sam Hall, a legend in racing, also trained his many winners in the same village during the 1960s and 70s.

“With the family being so heavily involved in racing, I grew up around horses and rode from being very young – the Pony Club, that sort of thing – and started riding out (exercising the horses) when I was about 14.”

She happily admits that her racing hero is a horse – the famous Desert Orchid. “When I was a lot younger, I was totally obsessed with him. I even wrote to ‘Jim’ll Fix It’ to ask if I could ride him. Surprisingly, I never got a response.”

________________________________________

Many thanks to Nicky McGrath and Kim McAllister, Editor of OS (Office Secretary) Magazine

Having admitted to an addiction to business books, I must also confess to an addiction to biographies.

But this particular book isn’t the story of a person but of a year – that all-but-out-of-living-memory world of early episodes of “Upstairs Downstairs”.  The world of 1911.

“The Perfect Summer” casts new light – and new shadows – on a time, just less than 100 years ago, before the Great War, before even the Titanic.

It was, apparently, a long hot summer – one of strikes, debutantes, coronations and the end of court mourning for Edward VII.   And of course, the first seedlings of that future war.  The book looks at the changing world through the eyes of a ‘deb’, a butler, the Home Secretary (one Winston Churchill), a trade unionist, a choirboy and the new Queen.  From this cross-section of people a rounded picture appears – a sort of review of the year as told by those who lived through it.

The strikes, the unveiling of Queen Victoria’s monument at the end of the Mall, Churchill’s thoughts on the Kaiser (the new King’s cousin) all jump out of the book.  But for me the picture painted of Queen Mary is the most fascinating.   It shows her as a real person, shedding light on an interesting, thoughtful, often lonely character, usually always portrayed as standing tall, cold and imposing in her old age.

“The Perfect Summer” is a fascinating book – and, knowing what was just round the corner – a very poignant one, too.

Christine … from the Shed

With less than three months to go until the London Moonwalk, I am indeed walking the walk.  And walking and walking and walking.

My online sponsorship page is up and running at www.justgiving.com/christinetodd

Christine ….. from the Shed

If you have had a chance to look at my new secretarial website (www.intheshedsecretarial.com) you’ll know that I ‘fessed up to my addiction – to books.   Business books.

This addiction started in 1999 when I was living in Glasgow, temping with several recruitment agencies.

I was drifting and needed inspiration ….

One lunchtime, I popped into a bookshop and found all the inspiration and motivation I could want.

In the middle of the bookshelf, there it was:  ”How to Be a Freelance Secretary”.

Published in 1994, this little red book (‘How to’ books were red in those days) talked me through setting up as a freelance, step by (relatively painless) step.   I think having worked as a temp for so long (about three years) helped make me make the transition to self-employment.

Other books that helped me were “Teach Yourself Freelancing” and “Successful Freelancing In a Week”  - both well-written, amusing and full of tips and info.

In this blog (sorry, Diary Room) I hope to indulge in my addiction by writing short reviews on a range of business books.

I will, of course, be including the two books mentioned above.

Happy 2009!

Christine